From Cancer To Camino: A Mother Who Refused to Stay Down

If resilience had a passport, it would look a lot like Dr. Erica Conway’s.

In this episode, we sit with a dentist, mother of three, breast cancer survivor, and unapologetic advocate to explore how midlife can become a launchpad for meaningful adventure. From trekking Peru’s Salcantay Pass at 15,300 feet to the blisters of the Camino de Santiago, Erica shows how adventure can be both safe and soul-stretching...especially for solo women navigating fear and logistics.

Erica shares how raising a daughter with Down syndrome raised expectations rather than lowered them. She unpacks common misconceptions about disability and offers practical insight into building real independence through meaningful support.

What ties it all together is a simple philosophy: don’t wait for retirement to start living. Book the trip. Walk to work. Choose the big yes and the daily small ones that add up to a life well lived.

If this conversation lit something up in you: Subscribe, Share, Review and let us know more stories we should cover.
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Guest Information
Dr. Erica Conway is a dentist, mother of three, and lifelong adventurer. A breast cancer survivor and passionate advocate for individuals with Down syndrome, she believes resilience is built by choosing forward motion and living fully—at work, at home, and on the road.

Resources and Links
Backroads Travel Booking
Erica Conway, DDS
Redwood Seeds Scholar Program
Napa Valley Is Better Together - Donate Here
Venn Diagram - Purpose

Music used in this episode:
All music in this episode is licensed for use through Epidemic Sound.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Season Focus
• 2:57 Introducing Dr. Erica Conway
• 7:07 Rethinking Midlife And Motherhood
• 9:08 Listener Reviews And Support
• 10:30 Why Peru And Solo Travel
• 13:04 Safety And Planning For Solo Women
• 13:50 Camino Stories And The Power Of Why
• 14:49 Chance Encounters And Quiet Miracles
• 15:44 Finishing the Camino
• 18:02 The Four-Circle Life Venn
• 21:56 What Breast Cancer Clarified
• 24:50 Advocacy and Motherhood
• 27:49 Expecting More
• 28:24 UC Davis Redwood Seeds Scholar Program
• 30:50 Napa Valley Is Better Together
• 33:54 Lightening Round

Transcript

Fletch: 0:05

Hey, and welcome back to the Mango Times, where we're talking about adventure in midlife. This is your host, Fletch, and I want to welcome you to episode 53. Or if this is your first time here, I want to welcome you to my little corner of the potosphere where I'm talking about adventures in midlife. And a quick moment of gratitude before we dive into this week's episode. Thank you for all of the kind notes and the messages and the feedback from my last episode with Chris Oneth, where I talked about a midlife crisis. I totally appreciate it. It kind of keeps me going to know I'm heading in the right direction. And if you're enjoying where this season is headed, do me a favor, send me a note, share the episode with a friend, or just drop a quick review over at Apple Podcasts. All those things help really more than you know. Also, a little bit of full transparency. I'm recording this with a steaming hot cup of custom roasted Guatemalan coffee from our friends over at Caffetino Roasters here in Modesto. And a pipe full of tobacco because you know what? Apparently, midlife adventure requires both a little caffeine and a little nicotine to get the story going. So let's talk about adventure at midlife. As I mentioned in the season opener, this season is all about these midlife adventures. And that often means stories of people who've hit a crossroads and then have needed to choose a new direction in life. Well, this story is a little different today. This is more like the story I told last season about my solo trip to Montana. It's not so much about waking up one day and deciding to be brave. This story is about someone who got hit head on by the darkest parts of life. And instead of folding, she chose to push back. She took the punches but refused to go down. So what's the story? Well, after navigating a divorce, beating breast cancer, solo parenting three daughters, one of them with special needs, and running a dental practice in the process, did she retreat? Not even for a second. Instead, she laced up her boots and she stepped into a whole new chapter of adventure. Hiking through Peru, walking the Camino across northern Spain, and while doing all that, putting three daughters through private education, into college, and adulthood. And she's not done yet. Do you want guts? Do you want grit? Do you want to hear from someone who knows how to get hit and keep standing? Well, follow me into the studio and allow me to introduce you to my dental school classmate, my friend, and a general all-around badass. Here's my interview with Dr. Erica Conway. Hey, today on the Mango Times podcast, I'm joined by my dental school classmate, Dr. Erica Conway. This is a woman who embodies midlife adventure. She's hiked the Inc and Trail, she's walked the way of St. James, she's beaten breast cancer, and she's a fierce advocate for her daughter with Down syndrome. Erica is someone whose life says that adventure isn't just something you go do, it's actually a posture you have toward life. So, Erica, welcome to the Mango Times Podcast.

Dr. Erica Conway: 3:26

Thanks, Fletch. Thanks for having me. I'm excited.

Fletch: 3:29

Hey, can you just give a little bit of, I always tell people, give your superhero story or give your backstory.

Dr. Erica Conway: 3:36

I am a dentist, mother of three, uh living in Napa, California, a few years from retiring, and all the kids are out of the house. So new adventures.

Fletch: 3:46

Yeah, so for everybody that's listening, you heard her say Napa. She lives a rough life. So why don't you tell everybody how did we meet? How did how did you how did our lives intersect?

Dr. Erica Conway: 3:59

Ah, well, we uh met at uh UOP Dental School, the the best dental school in the country. But let's see, we had to sit in alphabetical order in lab. So Conway and Fletcher are just a row off. Yeah. So we're we were close.

Fletch: 4:15

Yeah, I I know that we faced each other. That's that's what I remember from from our school. And and she's right, that was those were three cool years of life where you're forced into a class of what 130 or something. Yeah. I know they ranked us, and I always say, you know, we had that a special name for the the guy or the gal that graduated last in our class, and it was doctor. So so ranking never mattered, but um, I just I just know I wasn't last. So I also wasn't first, so there was no fear of that with me. Hey, when you look back, were you always someone who gravitated toward adventure, or did that come later in your life?

Dr. Erica Conway: 5:01

You know, it's funny when you asked me that, like originally I would say no, it came later, but I was thinking about it growing up, we didn't have a lot of money or anything. And but my dad would we would get on the BART train in Fremont, and my dad would be like, Where do you want to go? And so we would go to like the Oakland Museum, we'd get off wherever we wanted to. Oakland Museum, we'd go to San Francisco. So I I think that was on some level like this the initial adventure. And then my grandparents had a my mom's parents had a motorhome and they would take one of us. So they took my sister to Alaska one time, they they would take us to Yosemite. So yeah, I think, and I think just uh a healthy curiosity, you know, sparked my yeah, my adventure.

Fletch: 5:46

That was a question I was gonna ask. Is where does that spark come from? Is it curiosity? Is it restlessness?

Dr. Erica Conway: 5:51

I think it's curiosity. Yeah, I think it's just this desire. Like for me right now, it's like the desire to see the world, to see how other people live. Because we're pretty damn lucky in the United States of America.

Fletch: 6:03

You know, you and I we're only, I don't know, nominally 90 miles away from each other. But I always say, you know, the thing about the Central Valley is I can get to the coast. I can, I mean, I tell people Yosemite is my backyard. And I'm regularly, like two times out of the month, I'm in the Sierra, breathing in Sierra air, looking at snow or looking at rivers. I'll I'll pop into Yosemite just because I want to. Just like, oh, I might as well go there for the day. And then I was thinking about when you said adventure as a kid. I when my kids were little, I used to we used to take them to Orchard Supply, and I'd my question wasn't, do you want to go to the store? It was, hey, do you guys want to go on an adventure? So kind of like your your your dad with Bart, like Bart, like whatever. They'd always go, We're just at Orchard Supply. I'm like, No, this is an adventure. Do you not know about parking lot lions? And they'd go, What are those? I'm like, Oh, if you don't hold your dad's hand when you're walking through the parking lot, there's lions. And they I I think I've screwed my kids up, so that works for me. How are you experiencing midlife different than you expected?

Dr. Erica Conway: 7:07

Well, I mean, I think when when I got married at 27 in in you know, 1997, I thought I thought midlife was gonna be married. I think we all go into marriage thinking it's gonna last forever, and it didn't. So I think that was a major, you know, left turn. We don't, you know, you expect life to go one way, and seldom does it go that way. So yeah, I think that's the biggest, the biggest change in midlife.

Fletch: 7:33

Yeah, so that's you know, you're letting a little bit of the cat out of the bag. You are a single mom with three girls and a dental practice and and facing life. That in itself has been an adventure.

Dr. Erica Conway: 7:47

Definitely.

Fletch: 7:47

So we're gonna get more into kind of your backstory. But first, how how do you think your definition of adventure changed from say back then when I met you, now, you know, into your 30s, your forties, and now into your 50s? How how has your definition of adventure changed?

Dr. Erica Conway: 8:02

Well, I think I think nowadays, well, in you know, right now, like I we have the the discretionary income to have different adventures, cool adventures, international adventures to discover these new places. I think when you know, when we were 20, I think an adventure was just you know, just trying to survive dental school, just trying to get home from you know from dental school and not have something happen to you in the in San Francisco. But for me, it was the kids, and you know, there's no you can take all the parenting classes in the world, but as you know, each kid needs a different parenting manual, and that was the adventure. And you know, I took my kids, we took our kids everywhere to create adventures for them. So, and I was lucky enough to be an exchange student in Spain, and we've I've kept a connection there, and my kids have all gotten to go to Spain and go by themselves, and then they have their adventures, and and that's really cool.

Fletch: 9:08

All right, quick mid-show pause. I want to say thank you to everyone who's been leaving reviews on Apple Podcasts. They really do mean a lot. I want to read two real quick. This one's titled Happy 30 Years, and they left a five-star review, and they wrote, I'm glad that you're podcasting. You know what? That's short, that's honest, and I'll take it. Another one said, Fletch is a gift. Another five stars, and this reviewer said, Fletch's storytelling is top tier, and he's so inclusive and inviting with his ideas. This one really stuck with me. Thank you so much for the review. And if you're enjoying the show, a quick review on Apple Podcasts goes a long way to help others find the show. Alright, back to the conversation. You know, we we should probably tell people that even though we graduated 30 years ago, how often do we keep in touch?

Dr. Erica Conway: 10:03

On the group chat every single day.

Fletch: 10:06

Every single day I hear from Erica or what she's doing, and you're one of those people that walks to work like I do. So there's some funny little crossovers here, but I I need to let the cat out of the bag. I haven't I'm not just connecting with you after 30 years. I probably saw a picture of you less than 48 hours ago. So but along the way, I I see these trips that you do, and I know you like to do this. So tell me why the Inc and Trail, why that moment in your life, why there?

Dr. Erica Conway: 10:35

Well, it's interesting because I got divorced in 2017, 2018, and then just you know, I just put my head down and like, okay, I'm gonna raise these kids, blah, blah, blah. And then all of a sudden, there was this window in 2022 where I mean, my oldest was gone and lives in Nashville, and the two other ones were gonna be both be gone. Well, the youngest was gonna be in Spain, and the and my middle daughter with Down syndrome was gonna be at a camp. And I'm like, hold on, I've got 10 days with no one. I gotta go somewhere because it was my only opportunity. I don't have another parent to to share custody with. So I I decided I'm like, I'm gonna go on an adventure. And the girls' preschool teacher does these adventures all alone by herself, crazy places. And I'm like, what should I do? Where should I go? And she's like, trust me, you're for your first adventure, go with backroads out of Berkeley, blah, blah, blah. So I went, I had the time and I went to Backroads, and I'm like, What are you guys doing during this window? And they said, Well, you can do the dolomites, you can do this, you can do that. And they're like, Well, you can do Peru. And I'm like, Oh, I want to do Peru. I I love the uh I South America, Central America really intrigues me. I've got enough Spanish that I can pretend at least. And the lack of tourists really appeals to me. So I did it and I went alone and I met seven other people that I still keep in contact with that are kind of across the country. So it's pretty cool.

Fletch: 12:11

Now that's a question I think a lot of listeners are gonna have. Single woman traveling the world, they they might already come up with I can't do that, I'm fearful, language, airports, money, all the things. What you know, can you speak to that?

Dr. Erica Conway: 12:27

Yeah, I I think I think there's a lot of companies out there that are really good about single, you know, setting up the whole thing. I mean, for me, the first time, okay, do it through back roads, they set up the whole damn thing. You just, you know, essentially you gotta get there and that's it. And all your meals are included, you're super safe. They've got they've thought of every single thing. And and that's that was the perfect first adventure for me. And now I, you know, now I plan them myself, but it was a good, it was a good uh transition.

Fletch: 12:58

Now, was there a moment on that trail where you thought, okay, this is why I'm here?

Dr. Erica Conway: 13:04

Yeah, I mean, I think I think not only was it let's travel alone, but let's accomplish something. I don't want to just sit on the beach in Hawaii or in Mexico or whatever, although, well, that's great. That wasn't what this was about. This was about physically accomplishing something. And we hiked from lodge to lodge. We went up over the Salcante trek, which was 15,300 feet. It was super cool. And there were days where we didn't really see anybody else except us, and that was neat. It was it was a neat adventure.

Fletch: 13:39

So everybody just know that Erica's way more of a badass than I am. 15,000 feet. That's like if I'm 15,000 feet, I'm probably in an airplane, is what I'm thinking. Now, one of my favorite trips you did, I think was last summer. Was it the way of St. James? Did you do that last summer? Yeah, yeah. Now you can do what is it like a two, three-month trip, but but what did you end up doing for that?

Dr. Erica Conway: 14:03

Yeah, you can do 40 days. You can go from the west coast of France all the way to Santiago, but I I figured I only had 11 just with the windows with kids and the practice and all that. So, and I wanted to see the coast. So I did the northern route. So I backtracked from Santiago, I backtracked 11 days of hiking. And so I started kind of in the middle of nowhere and hiked. The cool thing about the Camino is everyone along the path along the trail is doing exactly what you're doing. It's not like, oh yeah, I'm here in, you know, wherever Mexico and I'm gonna hike a volcano. No, everyone's walking, everyone's walking the same direction. I met some incredible people, and everyone has a why, and everyone asks your why. My kind of my epic moment there was the last couple days we merged with the French route. And I was at a ho, I was at a hotel, I was eating my meal, and this couple's like right next to me. And this guy goes, Is she actually the wife said, What's what's your why? Like, why are you doing this? And I said, Well, I'm celebrating being cancer free for 10 years. And the husband looked at me and he like you could tell his eyes were were welling up, and he looked at me and he goes, I'm a retired oncologist. And he goes, he goes, We don't remember the ones we saved, we only remember the ones we lost. And I thought it was a really it was like an epic moment for me, and it was like, Okay, this is super cool.

Fletch: 15:29

I mean, did a light come down like through the ceiling and like glow on the table? My gosh.

Dr. Erica Conway: 15:35

But and then, like, you know, came and went, like a day came and went, and we hiked and I hiked another day, didn't see him, and the very last day, which is the day where everyone's walking into Santiago, like it's like I don't know, this the sun doesn't rise in Spain at that time of the year in October till like nine o'clock in the morning. So I was walking for a whole hour in the dark most days, and he saw me in the dark, and he looks at me and he goes, I'm walking you into Santiago today. And that guy walked with me the whole way. It was really, it was really, really cool.

Fletch: 16:09

So that's epic.

Dr. Erica Conway: 16:11

But you know, it's funny that that trip in particular, and I would do another portion of that route because there were so many, like, I don't know what, I don't know if you want to say God moments or or whatever, but like this one, I met this big, huge Danish dude, and he was like, Do you want to walk with me? And I'm like, Yeah. And he's like, there was there was one point, there's only one or two points where you go, Do you want to take the high road or the low road? And he's like, Do you want to take the high road or the low road? I'm like, let's take the low road, it might be longer. And he's like, Okay, well, we ended up taking the high road, don't ask me how. And then, like, all of a sudden, we're in the middle of nowhere, haven't seen anyone for hours, and there's a dead horse in the middle of the the path. And all I can think about is where is the animal that killed the dead horse? And I just looked at him and I said, I said, dude, you are protecting me. Like, I mean, hopefully, like I had and I had to stay with that guy. I ended up with blisters because I had to keep up with him. His legs were so long, but I there was no way I was gonna walk that part alone. I was like, I gotta do this.

Fletch: 17:12

So I like the dead horse story. That's perfect. Hey, let's let's take a break here and uh we come back. I want to ask you some more questions about life and adventure. If this conversation is hitting close to home for you, that's kind of the point of this season. Because adventure at midlife isn't about blowing things up, it's about paying attention. So if you want to stay connected to the stories on this podcast, the easiest way is to subscribe to the show wherever you're listening. I'll have new episodes dropping every other week, and they're all going to be built around good questions and real conversations, and a little bit of that well-placed shtick that you've come to expect from me here at the Mingo Times. Alright, let's head back into the studio. Alright, and we're back, and I'm talking to my friend Dr. Erica Conway about adventure in midlife. We just talked a lot about some of her outside adventures that she's been on, but I want to shift gears and ask you something that I've been exploring with all my guests, and it's this four-circle Venn diagram. You can look it up in the show notes if you're listening. But it's the overlap of what you love, what you're good at, what the world needs, and what you get paid for. So when you look at your life, you know, dentistry, adventure, motherhood, let's call it advocacy. Where do you see your circles overlapping right now?

Dr. Erica Conway: 18:38

I think my circle of maybe it sounds funny, maybe taking care of myself and what I need. I think as a mother, you tend to put that, I think you put that circle aside. You you do your you do your dentistry because you get paid for it. My dentistry has always been since the kids were born three days a week, so I can raise my kids, and that was important to me. And all the patients understand that and they're totally okay with it. But dentistry also, because I have a child with an extra chromosome, it's become a lot of special needs patients. It's a lot of and in that that that circle overlaps your advocacy because you're also while you're working on someone, you're chatting with them and you're teaching them how to be an advocate for their kids, which is something I'm super passionate about. So that's you know, and then God, what I'm great at. I think I'm a damn good mother. I think I'm a decent dentist. I think I'm good at being just being honest with people and being real being real. I think being real is so important. And it's you're not everyone's person, but they can't say I wasn't real with them. And so

Fletch: 20:00

I think in our career, especially, you know, the number one complaint we get, or that I not complaint, but what's the opposite of a complaint?

Dr. Erica Conway: 20:09

It's a like an observation. Yeah.

Fletch: 20:11

Observation. I guess the number one observation I get from my patients is boy, you were you were real and you were honest, and you took care of me as a person, as opposed to a mouth, you know. There's a Patch Adams quote, I keep it up here on my wall. It says, You treat a disease and you win. Or no, you treat a disease, you win, you lose. But if you treat a person, I guarantee you win no matter what the outcome.

Dr. Erica Conway: 20:37

Yeah.

Fletch: 20:37

And that's always been a philosophy of dentistry here, you know, is treat the person, not and they're connected.

Dr. Erica Conway: 20:45

There's so many aspects of that. Especially I saw it during COVID, especially when when people weren't leaving the house and you were maybe their only point of contact. Whoa, every patient took longer, right? Like because they just needed to vent, they needed to dump, they were afraid, they didn't know. And that's, I don't know, that's just how we are. I can't tell you the number of people I have walked through cancer, through a kid with a disability, through I mean, that's just that's that's the luxury of family dentistry, seeing people for 30 years. You know, you're part of their life.

Fletch: 21:21

Surviving cancer, it did that shift any of those circles for you?

Dr. Erica Conway: 21:24

You know, it's interesting because like like when I had Gretchen with downstream, I'm like, okay, like I'm ground, I was thought I was grounded before. Now I'm really grounded. And then cancer, I'm like, oh, wow, okay. I I don't know. I I guess I don't know if someone didn't think I was getting the memo, but yeah, it's I I I don't know if it shifted things. I think my priorities are pretty, pretty, you know, clear and and aligned. I think it just makes things more obvious. I think it puts things under a microscope and you just go, okay.

Fletch: 21:56

Well, let's transition. I want to transition into that discussion of surviving breast cancer. Because you know, there's some adventures we choose, but breast cancer is an adventure you didn't choose. So, what did that teach you about strength, maybe the obvious one, fear, or even like a timeline? What did that what did that teach you?

Dr. Erica Conway: 22:16

Well, initially it taught me that you can walk away from your practice, you know, because essentially I walked away from April to January, and we kept it going. And thank God for the community that helped us do that. But I think it's interesting because I went to my oncologist like seven years later, and I said, Hey, could I gotta ask you a weird question? He's like, What? I said, Could I have died? And he looked at me like I was crazy. He's like, Erica, you're asking me this seven years later. I said, What was I was too afraid to ask you before? And he goes, Yeah, you had stage three breast cancer. You could have died. You know, and I would have left, you know, three kids, my youngest of which was in first grade. You know, it's interesting, dying wasn't an option. I never, I never actually thought I was going to. You just do what you have to do to survive. And God, I've helped a lot of people through it since, you know, breast cancer is a huge, and in this town in particular, the pesticides. So yeah, it's wow.

Fletch: 23:24

You just gave us an insight into Napa.

Dr. Erica Conway: 23:26

Yeah.

Fletch: 23:26

You know, it's not all wine and bottle rock.

Dr. Erica Conway: 23:30

No, no, no, no, not all wine.

Fletch: 23:33

Do you think it made you more adventurous or more intentional? I mean, that seems like a dumb question, but do you think it made it?

Dr. Erica Conway: 23:38

It's absolutely I'm way more intentional. And I think, I think when, you know, you're you're planning your life. I I don't know that like I was gonna start going on these crazy adventures maybe this early or maybe even at all. I don't know. I don't know what, you know, you don't know because it's not the way life went. But if I've learned anything from cancer and all of this stuff, and and just patience, like you can't wait to live your life. You can't wait till I have enough money or I have this or I'm retired or this or that or the other thing. Because you know what, tomorrow ain't guaranteed for anybody. I mean, you know, New York minute. You and I could get hit walking to work, you know.

Fletch: 24:21

Hey, I just wanted to pop in one more time in the middle of this interview to say thank you for those of you that have been supporting the show by buying me tacos. I've recently mentioned both uh Joe and Eric, nothing says I love what you're doing more than buying me a few tacos. You can head down in the show notes and you'll find a spot where it says buy Fletch a taco. Thank you for the support. Thank you for the encouragement, and now let's get back to that interview. Let's transition a little bit into uh advocacy and motherhood. Can you tell us a little bit about your daughter and maybe what has she taught you about joy, about being present, about being resilient? Is that just another chapter in this same story?

Dr. Erica Conway: 25:04

Yeah, absolutely. You know, I think I think that uh there's lots of life lessons in in all of these things that happen to you, but kind of the they they all boil down to the same thing, right? Like I think intrinsically as mothers, we are advocates for our children. But I think when you have one that's got, you know, some issues or an extra chromosome in my case, godge, they teach you so much. They teach you that most, you know, most of it isn't important to celebrate every milestone. I mean, when that kid walked, we practically had a damn parade in the town. You know, I mean, when you know, all of the the little things that with your typical kids, you you're like, okay, of course, they did that on time or whatever. Like, I remember going, my kids didn't have preschool during the summer. And I remember going back, and she, Gretchen was four at the time, and I said, Hey, she's potty trained. And and the the teacher at the school goes, Do you understand how young that is for a kid with Down syndrome? I'm like, No, I don't. I just did it. Like, I potty trained all my kids. All my kids were potty trained in the summer when they could just be naked and like and it just worked. And I'm like, I don't, I don't know, I don't, you don't know what you don't know. And I just asked her to do it and she did it. So okay, let's move on. You know, so yeah, I've become an incredible advocate for her and what her rights are and what she needs to be successful in this world. And she needs, of course, she needs more than maybe a typical kid, but yeah, so yeah, about absolutely.

Fletch: 26:36

I love how you just you make this so easy. You just say, so I have a child with an extra chromosome. And I realize there's a lot to that statement. I mean, there's ramifications of that. But that being said, what do people misunderstand most about families with a child who has an extra chromosome?

Dr. Erica Conway: 26:54

I think that they lower the bar too much. I think that they don't expect anything out of her. We were at a friend's goodbye party the other day, and it was perfect. Like I had I had her and I had my other younger daughter, and we walked into the bar, and one of these one one lady that knows has known me forever and has known, you know, my kids forever, she goes, Oh, sweetie, how are you? Like she's five. And I'm like, she's holding a beer, she's 22. Like, why are you talking to her like she's five? I mean, like, she's an adult, treat her like an adult. So yeah, those are those are frustrated. That's frustrating to think that she won't do anything. I mean, when she was in the public school, you know, when she was in not public school, but when she was in uh elementary school, it was so frustrating because it was just like no one expected anything. I'm like, you'd be surprised what she can do if you actually expect something out of her.

Fletch: 27:49

Okay, so blow away my audience with a couple of the things that she has done that people might be shocked about.

Dr. Erica Conway: 27:56

She went to Catholic school kindergarten through twelfth grade.

Fletch: 28:01

If you can survive Catholic school, that's amazing. With all your knuckles intact, even with without an extra chromosome. So that's that's amazing.

Dr. Erica Conway: 28:11

That's amazing. She was the first kid with Down syndrome to graduate from a Catholic high school in the whole diocese, and the diocese goes from like Napa all the way up to the Oregon border. So she did that, and then she goes to the UC Davis Redwood Seed Scholar program. They have, they just had the first graduating class. They graduated eight kids, and out of those eight kids, seven are still living in Davis completely independently. So, and that wouldn't, I don't believe that would have happened unless they had this program. So Gretchen's a junior, she's got one more year, and she's like, I'm gonna live in Davis forever. And I'm like, okay, right. It's a it's a phenomenal community. I have no problem leaving her in Davis forever.

Fletch: 28:52

And yeah, so this is a UC school, people. I mean, we're not this wasn't, you know, Bob's school for special needs kids. She's in the UC system in the Redwood Seeds program. And I'll I'll put a link to it in the show notes for people who don't know about it. Because I mean, I remember seeing it probably on your Instagram and immediately sending it to Kendra and saying, we've got to check into this. This is amazing. So would it have mattered if it hadn't been Davis? Because, you know, for people who don't have a knowledge of geography, you know, you're in Napa. Davis is what, nominally an hour away?

Dr. Erica Conway: 29:30

Yeah, 55 minutes, something like that. Yeah. No, originally she was gonna go to let's see, she got into Georgia Tech, she got into Texas AM, she got into George Mason. No, she was gonna go far. Okay. She was gonna go far away. You know, it's unfortunate not to get political, but with the lovely Medicaid cuts, the you know, programs like this are being the funding is being cut. And that's that's unfortunate because it sounds funny. Well, we're gonna save some money on this end, but yet if these kids are more dependent on, you know, Social Security later on in life, then you're not saving any money.

Fletch: 30:05

Okay, folks. So we're recording this.

Dr. Erica Conway: 30:07

Oh donate.

Fletch: 30:08

We're recording this in 2025. So this is a very palpable thing, you know, when we talk about, you know, when you see the the government just saying, oh, we're gonna make these cuts. These are the kind of things that play out. We look at we look at simple things like school lunch programs. Like that that is a huge issue for special needs families. Because some at least the system we're in here out in the valley, that means a lot to to a lot of families that have special needs kids. So I think this, and I just want to know, can you confirm or deny? I look at advocacy as part of your identity for Erica Conway. Is that is that a true thing?

Dr. Erica Conway: 30:47

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Fletch: 30:48

Yeah, I I think of you kind of as a badass. Like, we need to get this done. I'm just gonna call Erica, you know, for whatever. Like, let's get it done. Is this something we can do? And because you've also, are you spearheading or have you spearheaded, or what is your involvement with the special needs prom?

Dr. Erica Conway: 31:05

Oh yeah, it was probably, oh, I think it was 2018, something like that. 2018, 2019, I saw that the Tim Tebow Night to Shine program, and I'm like, well, we don't have one in Napa. The closest one's Vallejo. There, I think there was one in Santa Rosa or something. And so I have a friend that's pretty connected in town, and I said, Hey, I said, why don't we we hook on to the Tim Tebow thing and do our do one here? And she said, Well, why do we have to hook on to his and follow their rules? Why don't we just do our own?

Fletch: 31:34

Again, people badass. I'm not gonna follow your rules, I'm gonna do my own thing.

Dr. Erica Conway: 31:38

I'm gonna do my own. So, I mean, we do it and it's pretty phenomenal. I mean, we pay for the band, the location is donated, the all the food is donated. And I mean, we're talking about like Il Posto, this Italian restaurant, Cole's Chop House, like really high-end restaurants that are donating, and they we have a photo booth and kids dress up. We got you know, tiaras and crowns and everything else, and they have a blast. And you know, a lot of the the caretakers or parents will think they're gonna, you know, they like some will drop their kids off and go have dinner, some end up staying because they're like, this is so much fun, and everybody has a great time. And so, and it's it's an easy thing to do. It was just the first time, right? The first time you do it, you're like, okay, I don't know what I'm doing, and you just get the right people in place and it works.

Fletch: 32:28

What does joy look like in your home these days?

Dr. Erica Conway: 32:31

Joy is just seeing their levels of adulting. I think it's cool. I mean, I think it's a big like, you know, kudos to you know, you and me for raising these kids, and they're all on their path, they're all on their path to adulthood and being independent and living independently. And I think you every every accomplishment we get to celebrate. We had a hand in that.

Fletch: 32:55

So we always tend to focus, at least in our family. But Joe gets a lot of attention because of his needs, and we make a point to not let any of the kids get lost in the shuffle. So can you uh just tell us again a little bit about your family, your other daughters, and what they're up to?

Dr. Erica Conway: 33:12

Grace is in Nashville working for a healthcare AI startup company, which is cool. And then, and she's been, she went to the University of Tennessee and she's been working ever since. So she's been, what is this, year three or year four of working, living on her own and paying her own bills, which is cool. And then Samantha is down in Tucson in her first year of college. So they're they're doing great.

Fletch: 33:38

All right. Well, I love I love hearing your story. I love following your your story and these these girls. I just think you've got this this mom who is a strong woman doing doing her things and and teaching these three girls, three women to be equally as strong. So let's wrap up with the lightning round. I just want you to tell me the first thing that pops in your head. So, what's one big adventure still on your list? The next big yes. Patagonia. Patagonia. What's a small everyday adventure you think everyone should try?

Dr. Erica Conway: 34:12

Saying hello to everyone you see. When I walk to work, there's all these high school kids walking the other way. And it takes them about three or four weeks when school starts to realize that the annoying lady is gonna say good morning every morning. And she's gonna expect me to say good morning and make eye contact. So they can finally give up. It's awesome.

Fletch: 34:31

I when I'm walking, I always always be walking, Kendra and Caroline will be with me, and I'm like, Howdy! Like they're like, Why do you say howdy? I'm like, it's friendly. Yeah, all right, third question. What's something motherhood taught you that nothing else could?

Dr. Erica Conway: 34:47

Unconditional love. It doesn't matter. Like, I I I absolutely know that if I if I ever did anything wrong and ended up in jail or something like that, my mother would would would bail me out, would visit me, whatever. That kind of love. Like, yeah. Uh I mean perfect example. This weekend, I'm going to help my kid move, you know, up houses in Nashville, and then the next weekend I'm taking the other one back to Tucson. Is that what I want to do? No, absolutely. But that's what you do. And I think it's cool that we get can do it.

Fletch: 35:18

All right, number four, what's a quote or mantra that you keep coming back to?

Dr. Erica Conway: 35:23

I would say it's a combination of be kind and we're we're better together. We're all better together.

Fletch: 35:29

All right. Last one. What would people be surprised to learn about you?

Dr. Erica Conway: 35:33

Most people are surprised I'm a dentist when they don't know that.

Fletch: 35:39

Yeah, I'm gonna put we're gonna share pictures throughout this podcast of your adventures. And when people see you, yeah, they might say, Oh, she's a dentist. Wow, she looks like she's a she kind of looks like a tenth. She looks like a yoga instructor adventurer.

unknown: 35:55

There you go.

Fletch: 35:57

All right, Erica. Thank you for sharing your courage, your stories, the way you just keep choosing adventure. It's inspiring to me as a friend and as an onlooker. I think your life is just a reminder to all of us that midlife isn't about shrinking, it's about expanding. And I want to thank you for being a guest on the Mango Times podcast.

Dr. Erica Conway: 36:18

Thank you. I've had fun.

Fletch: 36:22

All right, that's it for today. Huge thanks to Dr. Erica Conway for reminding us all that real adventure takes resilience. And it also takes a willingness to keep moving forward even after you've taken a few hits. And I think this conversation really sets the tone for where we're headed this season. And if it lits something up in you, pay attention to that. Also, if you liked this conversation, can you do three quick things for me? First, share this episode with someone you think needs to hear it. Second, leave a quick review over on Apple Podcasts because even a sentence can help this show grow. And lastly, if you know a story that I should be telling, scroll down in the show notes and send me a text. Give me the details, and I will do all the legwork. Thank you for being here. I'll be back in two weeks with another story. But in the meantime, get out there and quietly make some noise. You've been listening to the Mango Times podcast. For any questions, head on over to the MangoTimes.com. I've already taken a shot of whiskey to clear my uh vocal cords.

Dr. Erica Conway: 37:40

Oh, are we singing too? So I that's gonna be bad.