Lessons From The Road, Part 2

Have you ever wondered if a childhood dream could still shape your life decades later? My journey began at age seven, sitting in a beanbag chair with a book about a teenager who sailed around the world alone. That story planted seeds of adventure that would eventually lead me to a motorcycle, thousands of miles of open road, and remarkably, to the front porch of that very same sailor.

This episode chronicles my solo motorcycle trip from California to Montana – a journey I originally hoped would answer questions about what the next 20 years of my life should look like. What I discovered instead was something far more valuable. The road taught me that answers don't always come neatly packaged, that preparation gives us permission to be present, and that risk-taking sharpens our gratitude for everyday life.

The heart of this story unfolds on a porch in Montana, where I found myself sitting with Robin and Patti Graham – a childhood hero and his wife. What I expected to be a conversation about sailing adventures transformed into a profound lesson about forgiveness, faith, and what constitutes a meaningful legacy. Their revelation that they've spent fifty years "in the business of reconciliation" completely reframed my understanding of adventure itself.

Join me as I share what 10 days on the open road taught me about midlife transitions, finding purpose, and embracing questions as companions rather than problems to solve. This episode marks a turning point for the podcast as well – I'll be focusing upcoming episodes on people who've made significant "second half of life" changes, exploring what happens when we finally decide to make that 180-degree turn toward something new. Have a story to share? I'd love to hear it. Because sometimes the greatest adventures begin not with sailing around the world, but right outside your front door.

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Guest Information
No Guest - All Fletch

Resources and Links
The Good Life Podcast - The 2x20 Project

Music used in this episode:
- Lost and Found and Carefree by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/
Source: http://incompetech.com/music/royalty-free/index.html?isrc=USUAN1100449
Artist: http://incompetech.com/

- One Particular Harbor - Jimmy Buffett - Buy it here
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Transcript

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Introduction: Do You Have Time for a Story?

Fletch 0:01

Free audio post production by Alphoniccom . It's Fletch and I am parked on the Avenue of the Giants on Highway 101 in Northern California just staring at some beautiful redwoods . But you know , before I left for this trip , anytime I had a chance I would sit down with someone and say , hey , do you have time for a story ? And inevitably , when I was done telling that story , the person I was talking with would say I can't wait to hear about the rest of it when you get back from Montana . Well , today I'm going to tell you that story . This is Fletch and you're listening to episode 43 of the Mango Times podcast , lessons from the Road of the Mango Times podcast , lessons from the Road . Welcome to the Mango Times podcast . This is Fletch and I'm the writer and editor for everything you read and listen to here on the Mango Times . On this podcast , we're going to discuss anything and everything that we experience together here on this crazy planet . So join me as I talk about different aspects of culture , from great movies to great music , to everything we love to binge watch online together , and I'll do my best to entertain you as I share my perspective on life as a husband , dad and grandfather to a big , loud family . So sit back as I grab a cup of coffee and my favorite dog and quietly make some noise . Hey , this is Fletch and I want to welcome you to episode 43 of the Mango Times podcast . I'm calling this one Lessons from the Road , what I learned on my solo motorcycle trip to Montana .

Fletch 1:46

As you heard from that opener , I'm going to tell you a story today . Do you have time for a story ? Because this one starts back when I was a little boy . See , when I was about seven years old , my dad gave me this book . It was called the Boy who Sailed Around the World and it was by Robin Lee Graham and I remember it was a big . It wasn't one of the small golden books , it was one of the big golden books . There was pictures , there was a story about this guy named Robin Graham who sailed around the world by himself . He left LA , it took him five years and he came around the world and I can remember sitting in my beanbag reading that book and looking at the pictures of this kid who was in harbors down in Polynesia , you know , cleaning the side of his boat .

Fletch 2:32

He took two cats with him . He sailed to Australia and there were just these great pictures and I would peel through this book over and over again . I love the scenes in South Africa where he was riding a motorcycle with his then wife . He got married along this trip and I can just remember as a kid saying someday I'm going to sail around the world , someday I'm going to live in a harbor , someday I'm going to ride my motorcycle around Africa . And I just read that book over and over and over again . That story was covered by National Geographic magazine and my dad got National Geographic magazine so I was able to read the actual articles that they covered of Robin sailing around the world .

Fletch 3:14

And then he wrote a book called Dove . That was the name of his boat . It was called Dove and he wrote this book telling his story of sailing around the world . So it wasn't the children's book with all the pictures that I remembered as a little kid , but I read that through high school and it stayed on my shelf all those years . I always kept my copy of Dove on my shelves and so that just became this framework of my life of wanting to live this adventure Again .

Fletch 3:41

I always thought I would live in a harbor in the South Pacific , I think when I stumbled into college and found Jimmy Buffett and he sang about one particular harbor , which that's the music I'm using in this episode . I just thought I was going to be living in a harbor . I thought when Kendra and I got married we'd live on a boat , we'd sail through the South Pacific , through the Caribbean , we'd , you know , play Jimmy Buffett songs and drink Corona beer and just live this flip-flop life of beaches and harbors and docks and sailboats . But I think you know how life turned out . I ended up , you know , being the short , fat Italian kid that became a dentist in Modesto , california , and had eight kids and that never really took off . I never realized that . I never lived life of boats and , truthfully , I'm not a sailor . I mean , let's face it , I'm not a sailor . But every part of my life that was about adventure hiking through the Sierra in Boy Scouts , road trips that just started and went nowhere , just hiking around my neighborhood , those day-to-day adventures we talked about a few episodes ago and the big adventures . That all has its root back in that book the Boy who Sailed Around the World Alone and so fast forward last summer .

Fletch 4:59

I'm sitting in bed with my wife and we're doing what you know middle-aged couples do . In bed at night we're both scrolling through Instagram and Kendra has this picture and shines it over on her phone and she goes like have you ever heard of this guy ? And it was Robin . I go have I ever heard of this guy ? This guy is the nucleus for everything I do , all the adventure I've lived , kendra , everything we've done in this marriage . That's been crazy and exciting . It goes back to that guy , that book . And so as I sat there I thought I wonder if he's still alive . I hadn't heard anything about him , just this picture on Instagram .

Fletch 5:34

So I started searching the internet for Robin Graham and there wasn't a ton there . There was no footprint . I went to chat GPT , who I've named Scout , and I said Scout , help me find Robin Lee Graham on the internet . And there's no websites . There was no email addresses , there was no presence . So I said I reframed my question Scout , how would one find Robin Lee Graham if they wanted to interview them on a podcast ? And it just came back . He doesn't have an online presence .

Fletch 6:02

However , if you wanted to reach him , there was an article about him in Sale Magazine . You might reach out to the editor . So I wrote a letter to the editor . I said hey , this is Fletch . I'm a 56-year-old guy and my life has been changed because as a kid I read this book by Robin Lee Graham and I see you interviewed him and I would love if you could make a connection for me , if that's possible . Not to sound creepy , well , just crickets , I heard nothing .

Fletch 6:28

And then eventually I got a letter back that said you know , fletch , we bought that article from a young woman , a sailor , and here's her contact . So I went to her website and I did the contact me page and I wrote the same thing I'm Fletch , I'm 56 . I'm trying to locate Robin Graham . I see you interviewed him . Would it be possible for you to share my email with him ? Because you know I'm this guy that's just lived this life of adventure and I can trace it back to Robin Again , crickets . And then , finally , a month later , this young woman writes me an email and says hey , fletch , I forwarded your email onto Robin . I couldn't believe it . Like I made connection , I'm going to get to interview him for my podcast . Well , a day later I get an email from Robin and it says hey , fletch , thanks for your email .

Fletch 7:16

I don't do interviews and I'm glad that . All that excitement . I'm glad that your life has been inspired by my story , because I sure scared the heck out of my mom . You know she had one son that was in Vietnam and one son that was sailing around the world . But I'd be happy to answer any questions for you . And I said you don't need to answer anything . I mean , I made contact with my childhood hero , I don't need any answers , I don't need to interview . But if you have the time and I just threw out a couple questions , you know , hey , what would you talk to your 16-year-old self if you were sitting on the boat right now ? What would you say to a 56-year-old guy who's still trying to live adventures every day ? Or what does adventure look like now ? You know , we had this little banter back and forth and I said , hey , I just want to let you know I still live in adventure .

Fletch 8:13

As a matter of fact , this summer I've planned this trip to Montana and I'm riding a motorcycle solo from California to Montana to see my son in Missoula . And I can trace the genesis of the desire to do this trip back to my seven-year-old self reading the Boy who Sailed Around the World Alone in a beanbag in San Jose , california . And I got an email back and it said hey , fletch , we live in Montana , why don't you swing by the house , we'd love to meet you ? And I was blown away . I walked in the room and I showed Kendra the email message and I was blown away . I walked in the room and I showed Kendra the email message and I said I'm going to Montana . So part of the journey was getting to go meet my childhood hero . All right , I don't mean to leave you with a cliffhanger , but I'm going to swing back to that story later in the podcast , because what I learned on that porch from Robin about adventure and about life is too good to rush right now at the beginning . But first let me talk a little bit about what the road actually taught me . Let's take a break and I'll be right back .

Fletch 9:20

Did you know one of the easiest ways to support the Mango Times podcast is by leaving me a review at Apple Podcasts . If you go down in your show notes there'll be a link and you can send a review , just like this listener from last month . It says Fletch is great , five stars . Well , thank you . I couldn't agree more . I have long appreciated Fletch's perspective , his work on the Homeschooling in Real Life podcast gave me lots of encouragement in homeschooling and beyond . These conversations are like a great time with a friend on the porch and , as always , the production value is top notch . Hey , thanks for the great review . You know it doesn't take a lot of time and it means a lot to me , and I'd like to thank this listener for taking just a few minutes to leave a review at Apple Podcasts . And if you want to leave one again down in your show notes , follow the link to the Apple Podcasts and you can leave me a review as well . I really appreciate it .

Part 1: True Purpose of The Trip

Fletch 10:24

All right , so when I left on this trip , I had this plan 10 days , thousands of miles , and maybe , just maybe , I'd figure out the next 20 years of my life . I think I told you in the last episode I wanted to figure out issues regarding my career , my relationships , my creativity , my faith , where life was going to take me in the next 20 years . And part of that prep was this huge Montana journal I'd been keeping and I'd been asking myself questions and I'd been talking to people . I'd been , you know , just sharing with people that know me the best and said , you know , hey , I'm trying to figure this stuff out while I'm on the road and I got feedback . Well , one of the people I got feedback from was my therapist . Now , let me just totally normalize this for people . I've had a therapist for the last couple months just helping me process life marriage , family , career and she is fantastic . And one of the things she said to me was Fletch , don't make this a working vacation , which would be totally like me to do . You know , turn this trip , this adventure , into a task and a goal and find something I need to accomplish . She goes why don't you just enjoy your trip , enjoy what your eyes see , enjoy the roads you choose and where you go , and you know what it turns out . She was right .

Fletch 11:53

The road just kept reminding me that you cannot cram life's answers into a 10-day motorcycle trip , right ? That's not how this works and , as it turned out , this ride wasn't the exam . It was like the orientation , you know , for life . For me , it's just the first part . You know , one of the big things I was looking at was the Good Life Project , and they had this .

Fletch 12:16

I think I told you about the 220 project that came in and that's you use two years of intention to shape the next 20 years and I've been doing this actively since I learned this and this was , you know , earlier this year , so not a long time , but I've been saying , okay , let's take the next two years to figure this out . But I was really trying to use this ride to do a lot of the shaping , and so this ride for me ended up not being like the final exam . It wasn't the capstone , this was just , like I said , the orientation , the initiation for the whole process . So what I wanted to do and what I ended up doing on the road trip was really kind of focusing on that 220 . Like , what are the things I'm going to be focusing on for the next two years ? What are those things in life that I want to see if they stick and have lasting effect ? And so it really got down to , you know , the very basics of my career . How am I going to map out the next 20 years of my career ? And this was just the initiation . What are the first things I'm going to do as I get home , rather than what's the whole 20 years going to look like ?

Fletch 13:25

And you know , in relationships , who are the relationships I'm going to dial into for the next two years ? Who do I see just being in close relationship in the next 20 ? And then the same went for my creativity when am I going to be pouring my time ? And seeing if it sticks , like this is one of them . Am I going to be pouring my time into a podcast ? Is this going to stick ? Improv comedy , some of those creative spaces I've been working on . And then , in my faith you know if I'm being super transparent I haven't been in a church building for the last year , so that was a big part of my community . So if that's not part of my community , if that's not part of my relationships , where will I be identifying myself with relationships now that these things that have been a part of my life for 30 years are missing ? Where will that be ? And so this wasn't about hammering out this master plan in 10 days , but it was really about building a rhythm of experiments over the next two years and moving quickly . You know , if this doesn't stick , if I don't learn the tuba , then don't stick with it . Bud , that's not your thing , move on . Or if it doesn't keep your attention , move on . And so that's really what this 220 project did for me on these 10 days .

Fletch 14:48

So a lot of people ask me about the risk . Yeah , there's a risk of riding for hours upon hours without cell phone coverage , with just a motorcycle and all of your gear attached to you . I didn't even have a roof on a car that I could sleep in in a rainstorm . So there was risk . There was risky roads . There was , I mean , every day I traveled . Someone said , hey , be careful for animals , because cutting through you know , oregon , idaho , montana , like deer and elk will run out on the road while you're driving at 70 miles per hour . Yeah , there was risk .

Fletch 15:22

But for me there was another kind of risk and it was that risk of admitting that I might not figure this all out . You know I had this . I told you I had this whole journal , like I'm figuring this stuff out , people for the next 10 days . But even the prep became part of this story . Remember , I told you about getting the bike , getting the gear , choosing my map and then leaving all of my overnights open to stay wherever the road took me .

Fletch 15:50

What I found out was that all that prep that I did , that journal and the preparation actually gave me permission to really be present on the ride , like I had done so much prep that I could take moments just to pull over on the side of the road and grab a cold drink , smoke a pipe and talk to the person that was there and ask them their story and ask them where they're traveling . And everybody would always ask me like you have this bike loaded up , where are you coming from , where are you going to ? But what I found out were these just quick lessons that I'll share with you right now , and that's that preparation gave me permission to pause that taking these big risks , like these really big risky road trips and these big long rides I was taking , that really sharpened my gratitude for life , and I know a lot of people that are motorcycle riders . Going wasn't that risky . Well , you know what for a guy who doesn't do this every day , to just be off the grid and hoping that my bike gets me from A to B and I don't break down and I'm not in the middle of a state or a zone where I don't even know anybody . There's a little bit of risk there , but it really sharpened my gratitude for just for life , like my everyday walking around . You know , when you take something out of your life and you live a risk , you really begin to be thankful for your normal day to day and it really kind of lets all the crap of life disappear when you're like , ah , but I was out there doing this . And then the last thing was all that pressure and the constraints that I put on myself from here to there really brought clarity . I really had the opportunity when I shaped that day from Northern California into Oregon . It really brought clarity . I really constrained my day down to one highway and there's my next gas station , and then there's my next gas station and it just allowed me to see clearly on the trip . So all that , that risk , that and the ride itself was all part of that formation and really that eye-opening awareness that , hey , dude , you don't need to figure this out in 10 days . Let this be the launching point and we're going to talk more about what's coming next in a moment .

Fletch 18:21

But let's take a break and then I'll go back to that porch story with Robin Graham . And then I'll go back to that porch story with Robin Graham . Hey , do you have a topic that you'd like me to cover at the Mango Times ? Would you like to hear your own voice on the Mango Times , or would you like to join the Mango Times community . You can do all of that by heading over to themangotimescom , hit the let's Connect button , where you can send me an email . You can send me a voicemail , or you can send me ideas for upcoming shows . Or maybe you want to be a guest and you want to be interviewed on the Mango Times . Send me a message . I'd love to find out if we could have you on this show . Head over to themangotimescom and hit the let's Connect button . All right ? So back to my visit with Robin and Patty Graham . He said why don't you swing by the house ? We'd love to meet you .

Fletch 19:19

And so I added a little journey onto my Montana trip . I drove from Missoula

Part 2: Meeting Robin Graham

Fletch 19:24

up to Kalispell , montana , up on the Flathead Lake , and I was invited to have lunch with Robin and Patty Graham , my hero and his wife that I'd read about in a book when I was seven years old . For me it was totally surreal , because here's this guy who inspired me back when I was a kid , and it was crazy to sit and just have lunch with them . And they wanted to hear my story and I shared my story of life . Like you know , this is who I was and this is who I am . And then I found this book called the Boy who Sailed Around the World and it was about a guy and I just dreamed that I would be him someday . And now I'm sitting across the table from him and he , I can't believe .

Fletch 20:04

I'm sitting here having lunch with the two of you and they were so kind and so generous and you know I told them I said , yeah , but I didn't really , you know , ever live this grand adventure . And they kind of stopped and they said , fletch , you have eight kids . You know that's part of your story . That's a huge adventure . You know you've invested in the lives of eight kids and you have all of their stories as part of your story . That's a huge adventure . You know you've invested in the lives of eight kids and you have all of their stories as part of your story . And it was just this reminder that adventure doesn't require global circumnavigation , it doesn't require a boat , it doesn't require a motorcycle trip to Montana , but adventure starts right where you are and it can start right outside your door , right where you are . You can start right outside your door , right where you are . You know , I , as I left and I was kind of contemplating it , I was like looking at flathead lake and I'm looking at these big skies of montana and I realize these are portable . You know I can . I can bring this to my driveway in my front door in modesto , california , and so can you . Adventures don't need to be five years of traveling around the globe . They can come right to your doorstep and that's where your first steps are .

Fletch 21:18

But Robin and Patty went deeper than that . Because I asked them their story , I go hey , tell me your story . And I know about around the world , I know about sailing , I know every port you've been in . And they started telling me this story about conflict in their life with some people , with a photographer from National Geographic , with Robin's father , as people tried to separate them in their relationship early on before they got married . And you know there's hints of that in the book Dove . You get to hear these stories before they got married . And there's hints of that in the book Dove . You get to hear these stories . You get to hear about the conflict .

Fletch 21:51

But when they got home and they finished the trip , when he finished the trip and they're married and they started having children , they eventually moved to Montana and they moved to Montana really kind of out of some bitterness , like to get away from family , and they stumbled into faith . They stumbled into this Jesus movement and I think I would describe it as you know hippies for Jesus . But they learned this lesson about forgiveness and that began the process of asking for forgiveness of the people from National Geographic and then Robin's own dad . And so when I asked the question what have you been up to for 50 years ? They really kind of paused and said we've just been in the business of forgiveness and really realizing how much we've been forgiven in our life by God and why we need to show forgiveness for others . And I'll tell you what .

Fletch 22:45

It was that moment there where I went . This is why I was supposed to be on the porch . These are people who've lived out their faith for 50 years just consistently , with one lesson and one statement . You know , I think I'm coming to the porch to hear about an adventurer who sailed around the world and the story that Robin and Patty choose to tell me is one of their faith , one of how God has been faithful to them for the over the years . And that is their mission to tell other people about the power of forgiveness . And that blew me away , like that was our conversation , so that entire lunch reframed my idea of adventure , my idea of legacy , my idea of what life looks like , and just the absolute joy of sitting with this delightful couple who have weathered life's storms out on the ocean , weathered life's storms in marriage and family and relationship , and they're just living consistently , doing the same thing , opening their home and telling people . This great story blew me away , and so that was my time on the porch with Robin and Patty , and my favorite part is I have an open invitation to go back .

Fletch 24:10

I've created a new relationship , which I love . I love meeting new people , so let's wrap this up in this days , as they fade away , finally disappear . So what are a few things that I learned that I'm taking home now ? Just some basic ones . One is that questions don't have to be solved . They can . You can walk alongside these questions like companions , and I think that's what I'm taking home that I still have some questions I'm figuring out , and I don't need to be on the road to figure

Part 3: Takeaways

Fletch 25:03

those out . That was just a kickoff , that was just the initiation , that was just the orientation and , most of all , that wasn't an ending . It was just the beginning of what comes next . But one thing I did take away like I'm going to be practicing this for the next two years to see if this sticks is a little change in the Mango Times podcast .

Fletch 25:24

I'm definitely going to continue the podcast , but I'm going to be heading in a very specific direction of the things I loved in my discussions about adventure and about , you know , these ideas of a midlife crisis that a lot of people wanted to joke about with me before I left . You know the motorcycle buying and all this was what is this ? What is this concept of a midlife crisis ? Let's talk about it . And then I want to do a series of interviews next season on second half of life adventures . I want to talk to people who've made midlife turns a career 180 ,

The Future of theMangoTimes Podcast

Fletch 26:00

a passion . They finally decided to chase a reinvention . That looked crazy , but all of these somehow saved their life . And I'm going to be asking people what happened ? Why did you do it ? Did it work and how's it going ? And , like I said , maybe I need to wrestle with this idea of are these a midlife crisis ? Or , you know , was this an invitation ? So here's where you come in If you have a story like that or if you know someone who does , I would love to hear from you .

Fletch 26:34

I already have about six lined up of people that I've seen do these midlife career shifts , idea shifts , and they've all been for different reasons . Some people were burned out , some people were finally chasing a dream , but I think these stories are going to inspire all of us . I think there's a lot of us in this position right now going . Lot of us in this position right now going . I'm so sick and tired of A , I'm ready to do B . I've been doing this forever . I'm ready to make a shift .

Fletch 27:04

I think those stories will inspire a lot of us and so I want to get them . I want to talk to people and I want to hear what they did . It could have been a one big thing . You know , I know of a fellow that walked the Pacific Crest Trail . He wanted to do a big thing . So again , if you know someone that's made a shift , if they've done a huge thing , if they've made a huge change , I would love to interview them .

Fletch 27:30

Now here's what you do you just go down in your show notes . You say send Fletch a text and send me a text and give me the information . I'll do all the work from there . You just give me the idea that you have , or , if it's you , I'd love to talk to you . I'd love to talk to you about it . All right , so , as I wrap this up , what I learned on the road to Montana ? That it wasn't a finish line . It was just the prologue to a much bigger story , and I think we're going to share those stories over the next year . Hey , if this resonates with you , if anything I said on this episode resonates with you , you can text me from the show notes , you can buy me a taco you know about that or you can leave a review so that others can find the show .

Fletch 28:12

So I have a few more episodes for this season . One of them is our 30th anniversary party that we'll celebrate together here on the podcast , 30 years of the Mango Times . I have a few more interviews and a few more adventure ideas as I get ready to take a short break between seasons and then we'll be starting up with the second half of Life Adventures , I hope , next season . In the meantime , you know what I'm going to say Get out there and quietly make some noise . You have been listening to the Mango Times podcast .

Fletch 28:47

Everything written and produced on this is by Andy Fletcher . If you're going to use it , steal it , borrow it or share it on the internet , please just let me know . I don't care , I just want to know where my voice is being used out on the internet . And , as a bit of a disclaimer , don't forget everything I recommend on this podcast . You should use discretion , choose whether you should watch it , listen to it , eat it , try it , go there , but when you do , don't forget to quietly make some noise . Thanks for listening , some noise . Thanks for listening . Here's a shout out to Stewie and John T . I hope someday we can find ours so far , but yet so near , where I see the day when my hair is full of gray and I finally disappear .